Len » mind

Fear

len — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:50:19 +0000

Fear is running, fear is green, fear is knowing, fear is heavy. Fear is not an animal, it does not has its claws upon you. Instead it turns you into an animal, terrified, lost, running. I am afraid of stopping, of tomorrow, of disappointing, of hurting. I am afraid of being afraid. I am my fear. I must embrace myself and become the fear. Thus the fear will be no more.

Debug: fear of magic In-out, in-out. There is magic, power. The fear of magic...

Aceasta minunata, stricata, carcasa

len — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 20:23:41 +0000

Aceasta minunata, stricata, carcasa. (This wonderful, broken, shell). Frig, ud, toacla, alergare, bras, trepte, greutati, vant, arcoxia, celebrex, cald, nadragi, izmene, bengay, diclofenac, coacaze, peste.

Broken knee

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12.06.2010

len — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 20:36:11 +0000

O coliba de stuf galbuie, prafuita. Pare crescuta din pamantul lutos de aceiasi culoare, batatorit in jurul intrarii scunde. Am plecat amandoi spre oras, printre dune.
Mergem de ceva timp si am obosit, urcam incet incet o carare serpuita. Un smoc de iarba, un copac incolacit si uscat, semne de viata. Hai mai repede! Fara explicatie, incep aproape sa alerg. Trebuie sa ajungem in maghernitele de la periferie. Ma impiedic si cad in nisip. In spate, la baza dunei sunt lei. Inteleg. Incerc in graba sa le fac cateva poze.
Deja sunt copaci mai inalti, cateva garduiri darapanate. Intr-un copac e legat un capac galben, poate o tigaie sau o oala veche. Un semn de civilizatie, am scapat.
Intram printre case din ce in ce mai dese pana ajungem la o usa de lemn, patru scanduri prinse cu 2 bucati transversale. Intram. Inauntru e un fel de biserica, poate o capela. O calugarita discuta consemnul. Un sul cu un poster. Asteptam intr-o camera alaturata. Imi aduc aminte de flori. Le-am carat tot drumul. Acum sunt uscate si ofilite. Trebuie flori noi pentru pastor. Mi se arata usa. Poate o sa gasesc la o banca, e cumva in dreapta.
Sunt din nou afara, pe stradute. Incerc sa pastrez o directie ca sa ma pot intoarce, nu e nici un nume de strada sau numar. O iau la dreapta si apoi din nou la dreapta. Tot inainte, ma intorc, caut banca, caut un targ. Am mers prea mult, ma intorc, incerc sa pastrez o harta mentala, la dreapta, la dreapta, la stanga … Ajung la niste tarabe cu fructe, n-au flori. Merg in directia opusa, cumva in stanga fata de a doua intoarcere la dreapta. Sunt case mai mari, cu terase, raspandite pe dealuri. Niste oameni stau la masa si discuta in gradina in lumina rosiatica a apusului care coboara peste dealurile ruginii. Ii intreb de flori. Atunci imi vine ideea, “n-au ei in gradina?”.
Cu florile in mana caut drumul inapoi, ajung din nou in zona cu case mici, darapanate. Intreb de un pastor, o capela. Care din ele? mi se raspunde. Sunt 35… deschid ochii, e 5:35…

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04.06.2010 – hidden

len — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 06:43:26 +0000

A version of my old room and a calculator looking device. In has a folding, plastic, cover. Don’t touch the device, don’t touch the device. Too late. The ceiling is opening and I can see the moon, a yellow-orange, big moon. It’s something strange about the moon tonight. It seems to come closer, and closer. Close the DEVICE!

Too late, I’m on a hill, covered in grass. It’s dark, almost night, the grass is gray and on the top of the hill I can see a structure. It’s small, not even a story high but it seems to cover most of the hill top, in a rectangular shape. It’s dark now, and the moon is there again. I am walking up the gray, silver orange grass to the top of the hill. There is something there, a door. I’m inside. Looks like an old building, with large rooms, almost untouched by time, only the light of the moon is making strange reflections on the wall. A liquid is covering most of the stairs, and they all lead down, into the darkness.

It’s now some time since I’m following one of the stairs into the silvery darkness, through the strange liquid. I’m floating and walking in the same time. And strangely as I’m going down there is more and more light until I am at the bottom. The stairwell has reached a flat ground and there is a window. Through the window I can see outside, rather inside. The structure unveills to me now. It’s a very large rectangle with an open space in the middle. I am in the south east corner and through the window I glaze on the large, inner court. I can see the large windows, the flours and the glass roof covering the court. There is light, lots of light into the inner court. Strangely there seems to be air, not liquid on the other side of the window. I have an impossible urge to open it. YES, into the light!

I enter the court and straight ahead I find the large, north entry. I enter the corridors. This place has been designed as a place of learning filled with laboratories and large decorated rooms and now it rests hidden in a grass covered hill under a sheet of protective liquid waiting…

Close the device! It got smashed on the wall as the moon and all the rest of the vision faded away. Maybe a ray of too of white light survived. Oh, no, it’s just a ray of warm sun as I wake up.

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Armura

len — Sat, 22 May 2010 10:11:19 +0000

Pe strada, spre buticul de la colt, sa iau pufuleti. Incet, ridic un picior si apoi altul. E greu, apasat. O platosa grea imi e agatata pe pulpe. O armura de fonta imi sta in spinare. O casca de tabla imi strange capul. Ma uit in jur, prin vizorul ingust. Si totusi oamenii nu se uita ciudat la mine, parca nici nu m-ar vedea. A inceput sa ploua, si stropii grei rezoneaza in tinicheaua de 2kg din cap. Stransa, botita si taioasa imi apasa tamplele care pompeaza cu putere. Pana la colt s-a oprit ploaia si am inceput sa scartai din toate incheieturile ruginite. Nici macar vanzatoarea nu se uita ciudat la mine, nici vecinul care mi-a tinut usa la lift, nici macar oglinda deabia montata in baie. Vad doar o fata lungita, cu cearcane si ochi rosii. Armura oboselii are kg invizibile care se simt doar prin tamplele care bat.

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Guardian of hell

len — Fri, 21 May 2010 19:22:50 +0000

Something happened, lots of people, bad people. Some of them were taken in a car to hell. I could see them as they were reaching with their hands to the rear window. I knew the road to hell, I had been there. The hell was a place with lots of classrooms. In each of them, a lot of cubicles. But I also knew the way out. You had to follow the doorways to the left, then the stairways, to the left again. There was an exit there but it only returned to the same place. You had to go to the exit, turn back to a round chamber and go into the library room. There was a guardian. I had defeated him once and sent him way down to a deeper level of hell, the one with fire and magma. As I was remembering this I felt fear. What if someone had followed me then? The hell was unguarded. I had to go back and convince the lord of lower hell, or god to free the guardian and put him in his place. So I was again in hell, searching for a way down. A lot of angry, evil people were there. I was hiding behind a desk in an empty room when someone opened the door. I kept my breath. A bit more, more. I woke up chocking from the pressure of holding’s one breath.

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Len » mind

Fear

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Aceasta minunata, stricata, carcasa

12.06.2010

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04.06.2010 – hidden

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Armura

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