Răul este o parte din noi. Mai mare sau mai mică, răul este in fiecare din noi. Unii din noi l-am primit de mai curând, alții mai târziu. (more…)
Archive for the ‘mind’ Category
Do you have in mind the image of the movie where the alien from a distant planet arrives on Earth and does not seem to make head or tail of the earth-people? Well, on many occasions I feel very much like this generic alien type. I try to understand people and places and their logic eludes me. (more…)
My dears A&M,
First let me define imagination. The imagination is a mind process which allows to create, in the mind, constructions which do not exist in the real world or to take real things from the real world and change their perception. Imagination is one of the most powerful tools of our mind, and, like any other tools one must learn how to use it. Also like any other tool most people will first try to use it without using the manual. Unfortunately, in this case, there is no manual. This leads to either wonderful or sad results. (more…)
Broken system + mysterious bug + encoding bug + small other bugs = 16h + lunch + pim’s box + “pear cake” + last half of confiture jar + other snacks.
The last few days I have been frantically organizing things, packing more of them in less space. I’ve been packing all the new and old cooking spices in the same kitchen drawer to make room for all the teas lying around. I’ve been drilling the walls to add new racks for the bikes, to have room for the bike parts and all the other tools. I’ve been neatly packing and binding all the cables, electronic parts and all the old laptops. I’ve been folding all the towels and swimming gear into small boxes. Finally I rested, tired, fearful to touch anything, imagining stuff will spring everywhere like a Jack-In-The-Box if I would disturb anything, any of the tension. The I started digging a hole in the wall, searching. I removed the bricks and put them aside, one on top of the other, orderly. And on the other side there was a space, quite an useful space. It was dark at the beginning but it was ok for me. Then, as I went through the hole in the wall and started exploring, there were other rooms. There was a nice and well equipped kitchen, a large bathroom with a bathtub resting in the middle on heavy bras legs. I continued to explore happily all the spaces thinking of all the space I had wasted until now, hidden in the hole in my wall. Then I went outside and the street had changed. All the houses were now covered in green vegetation, there was a lot more space between them and there were no fences or people or cars. And instead of the noise of cars there were invisible birds singing all over the quit, sunny, green street. I was happier and happier so I started walking to the corner of the street where I met a friendly person which looked very strange to me. I was calm and merry. We talked and I realized the date was now 2199, as I must have traveled through the hole in the wall. There were less people, more space, and everyone was enjoying nature. So we started walking and suddenly I was on a very nice beach with waves and rocks. The polar cap had melted some time ago and now the ocean was here. But it was sunny and warm, with a nice breeze. And suddenly I looked up and a huge, huge whale was flying towards me. It had a white belly and it was huge, with large wings. I should have been very very frightened, but I raised my hand to pad the white belly of the whale and it sang as I touched it and it flown away. So I was happy and returned to my street and searched my house. As I prepared to enter I heard a voice: “Mr. C., Mr. C.”. It was the old lady from downstairs, still alive, very angry that I fed the singing whales. Then she changed to a little dog which started to bark very very sharply: wuf, wuf, buzzz, riing, buzzz. Hmm, I thought, this dog sounds more like an alarm, a phone alarm, my waking alarm. I opened my eyes and I could still hear the electronic dog barking: buzzz, riing, buzzz
Sometimes the only memory is a bunch of broken shards. Time erases all the rest. I wish no time for sadness or regret. I wish only time for feelings, learning, action and awareness. Optimism is a choice.
De prea multe ori intrebarea care mi se pune legat de orice discutie legata de bicicleta e “Cat costa?”. Si tot de cele mai multe ori e prima si singura intrebare. Ceva eu nu inteleg legat de intrebarea asta. Sa zicem ca vad la cineva un lucru nou. Sunt poate zeci de alte intrebari care mi-ar veni in cap legate de lucrul ala: “La ce foloseste?”, “Mi-ar folosi si mie?”, “Care sunt functionalitatile, clasificarile, atributele?”. Probabil ca de cele mai multe ori n-as ajunge niciodata la intrebarea “Cat costa?” decat in cazul in care mi-as dori sau as avea nevoie de lucrul respectiv. Si atunci probabil as incerca sa aflu “cat costa la furnizor?”, “cine o distribuie?”, “ce producator are pretul cel mai avantajos comparat cu functionalitatile, clasificarile, atributele?” etc. Particularizate in contextul bicicletei m-as gandi la cel putin 2-3 intrebari: “Cat de repede mergi cu ea?”, “Cum e sa mergi prin oras cu bicicleta?”, “Unde o depozitezi?”, “Cat e de grea?”. Asa ca am doar doua ipoteze legate de cei care ma intreaba “Cat costa?”. Fie singurul criteriu de evaluare a oricarui lucru pentru ei e “cat costa”. Fie, unul din primele criterii de evaluare a mea, e prin “cat costa” lucrurile pe care le am. Din pacate asta zice lucruri destul de neplacute, pentru mine, despre cei care intreaba, din prima si fara alta observatie, “cat costa” un lucru oarecare.
P.S. nu ma refer in nici un caz aici la cei care stiu ceva despre biciclete (sau despre subiectul in discutie in general) si pentru care “cat costa” poate sa insemne ceva. Ma refer la: baietii de la spalatorie, la omul de pe DN langa care m-am oprit sa fac o pauza sau la taximetristul care dupa ce m-a injurat si depasit s-a gandit sa stam un pic de vorba si in general la oamenii care ma vad pe bicicleta, intra in vorba despre biciclete, dar prima intrebare pe care o pun, despre un subiect complet nou, este asta.
Parca alergam de ore intregi, prin pamant, nisip, tufe pipernicite. Parca alergam odata cu soarele prin dealuri si vai acoperite din cand in cand cu iarba deasa. Intunericul ne-a ajuns din urma insa, brusc, ca o lovitura de ciocan, in timp ce coboram o panta usoara. In vale pamantul era invartit, calcat in picioare. Herghelii de cai sau hoarde de oameni au invartit pamantul cu sudoare transformandu-l intr-un noroi gros. Coboram spre locul calcat in picioare, ghidati de un felinar agatat intr-un stalp de lemn. Doar un con de lumina si in rest umbra. Ne indreptam fara gandire, doar cu gandirea muschilor din picioare care gandesc doar inainte insa deodata, in umbra, ii vedem. 3 ursi legati parca in centrul unui cerc de pamant. Sunt legati, nu e o problema, ma gandesc. Insa deodata, o umbra, mai mica se indreapta spre noi. Unul nu e. Alergam bezmetic cu umbra dupa noi, ne intoarcem, sarim garduri, speriati, ametiti spre singurul adapost, resturile unui camion, ruginite undeva intr-un colt.
Lumina. Deschid ochii. Ma uit imprejur si nu inteleg. Incet incet imi aduc aminte felinarul, umbrele, noaptea. Iesim din cabina tocmai in timp sa dam nas in nas cu un alt alergator care deabia acum a ajuns aici. Incercam sa-i povestim frica, umbrele dar nu reusim. Nu ne asculta, asculta doar de mintea muschilor. Inainte. Deodata simt ceva cald si umed. Fac un pas in laterala si atunci vad umbra care ne-a alergat in noapte, vesela si copilaroasa in lumina zilei, in spatele nostru. Macar am reusit sa dormim, un pic ma gandesc inainte ca mintea muschilor sa preia din nou controlul, prin pamant, nisip si tufe pipernicite.
The sun was still not set when I returned today from my short trip I do sometimes, time permitting, with my road bike outside the city. Before leaving I was again mentally tired and the bike seemed to crack and squeak. The cyclometer battery was drained and it blinked the initial setup faintly kmh/mih. Yet I went on, with all the thoughts heavy in my legs. On the return trip however for a moment the mind went blank, resetting itself and I remembered the trip yesterday, cycle and swim and before yesterday, cycle. Not much, not something extraordinary, but nice for me. And I remembered the months of pain the knees, the hand joints, the leg joints and even the mouth joint cracking, squeaking. I also remembered the last physician which looked at the tests, saw the “positive” sign and then, with a sad, resigned look said: “There is nothing I can do for you, you can only hope for better anti-inflammatory drugs and a subscription to a rheumatologist”. The pain is still there, I can feel it, but it’s hidden, faint and easy ignored in the sun and heat. So at once, in the void of my mind all these thoughts left just joy. The joy to ride my short ride, day after day in the months of summer.